Silicon Dreaming

Ok, so I guess I’d better start using my time here a little wisely. I suppose I could bring you up to speed with what I was going to tell you earlier while still on the junk freighter, when I didn’t get the chance, just a little about me and how I came to be out here in the far reaches of space to begin with, so far from home. Perhaps if I manage to recount these events, then I might be able to understand a little better about the mess that I’m in now, somehow involved with, things that once seemed so far away and distant, things that never really rested heavily upon my mind until now. Now let me think.

Well actually I don’t really know anymore now really. I thought I did, but now it seems I don’t. It’s incredible how fast opinions and views on everything can change in an instant. I’m thinking now that maybe with everything that’s been happening that I’ve just been worrying just a little too much. It’s not like me at all to be thinking about things like this for too long, but I think it’s just the environment, enclosed in here all alone and confined to this small space seems to have a terrible effect on me. I can’t seem to put together any two thoughts or make sense of either one. And was it my imagination, or did that wall just move?

So I think I am going to have to make the decision pretty soon, whether I even want to get involved with any of the things that seem to have forced themselves into my life these past few days. I didn’t ask for any of this to happen you see, but now it almost seems like I can’t escape it. Sometimes I think there may be higher forces at work here, controlling my destiny and everything that happens. I know it’s most likely just me being paranoid again and the idea is kind of absurd that there would be someone or something, some hidden force controlling my destiny. So from now on there will be no more if I really want to get anywhere. It’s strange what time alone with just your thoughts can do to you.

posted by Joshua @ 09:55